Don’t they? Are you sure? Are you sure you are not influencing the situation?
Parents often feel that because they are not telling the child not to go then they are not exercising any influence. But your child picks up on what you say, what you don’t say and the expression on your face when you say or don’t say anything. If your child is old enough they may well have worked out how to get the most out of the situation – that does not mean they are lying but they might be stretching a point! We’ve all been there. An example. The child has a good time at contact but does not think mum wants to know this so they say they were bored and all they did was watch tv. They don’t say they pestered dad until he let them watch the Incredibles which they were quite happy watching rather than doing all sorts of other things such as learning their spelling or talking about stuff. Mum hearing this latches on to the ‘boredom’ – she thinks she is doing the right thing to make sure child has a good time and it feeds her image of dad not making much of an effort. Children may not lie deliberately but they can be easy to influence and parents have such power over them. Your situation may be different but it is important to think it through.
