Mothers are often very anxious about what it means for a father to have parental responsibility. Just to give a few examples:
• Will the father interfere with her day-to-day life looking after the child by stopping me from dressing the child the way I want or feeding the child in a particular way?
• Will the father be able to stop me from doing something for the child that I want to do, such as bringing the child up as a Catholic or Muslim, or sending him to a private school or particular local school?
• Will the father be able to get access to school reports or the child’s medical records?
• Will the father be able to introduce the child to his new partner?
In considering the father’s application a mother should think through the following points:
• the norm is for a father to be given parental responsibility unless he has behaved extremely badly towards mother or the child, has no relationship with the child, is really only making the application as a way of maintaining contact with the mother, is mentally ill in such a way that he could not exercise parental responsibility;
• a father is rarely refused parental responsibility simply because he has paid no maintenance (unless it is part of a wider picture showing lack of commitment);
• a court will always look to see if it can make other orders which help overcome the mother’s anxieties, for example, by making orders under section 8 (eg residence, contact, specific issue or prohibited steps orders) or by attaching conditions to orders);
• for example, if a father accepts that the child should live with the mother because she is a good mother, it can be helpful if the court makes an order stating this, and recording that father consents. This can help the mother to realise that father is not ‘trying to take the child away from her’ or criticising her in some way.
• ‘Responsibility’ is not seen by the courts in exactly the same way as its everyday meaning – the fact that a father is rather immature or not terribly reliable, or has had an affair will not be seen by the court as irresponsible in the usual way people use the word. A parental responsibility order tends to be seen by the court as a way of recognising a father’s status in the child’s life rather than a statement that he is a ‘responsible’ father;
• one of the reasons that fathers are given parental responsibility, even if they have not always co-operated well with the mother is that at the end of the day the court knows that disputes about particular aspects of parental responsibility are usually decided in favour of the person with primary care;
• a father without parental responsibility has (at the moment) no automatic right to be involved in any court proceedings with regard to the child being taken into care or being adopted – one of the reasons why UK family courts think it important for a father to have parental responsibility.
Hi Jaqui, my response to this would normally be that if fathers had automatic PR as mothers do, the question wouldn’t arise. The view amongst fathers is that the PR rules discriminate against them, and this is what I wrote in the F4J document Family Justice on Trial which is reproduced in the back of Matt O’Connor’s recent book of F4J (shameless plug). Reviewing this document recently I am coming round to the opinion that the legislation only discriminates against fathers inadvertently and is really a hangover from older legislation which discriminated against illegitimate children. Though most of this legislation has been replaced, this little bit remains, and ensures that a significant number of illigitimate children are denied the input of a father. Discuss.
I rather agree with you Nick. I was thinking about this when I put the post on. I first wrote a version of this post some years ago when PR seemed to be a live issue in cases whereas now it is pretty unthinkable not to give a father PR. I was rather shocked to learn that in a case I am doing where father has the children 40% of the time, the mother will not agree PR. I think Gordon Brown has just announced an intention to change the law on this again. But we should not forget that there are fathers who take no responsibility and babies who are born as a result of one-night stands etc so there is maybe a vestige of an argument for some sort of discrimination. Seems to me though that it would be difficult to frame a way of keeping irresponsible fathers out which does not also shut the door on the others.
Why should we want to keep irresponsible fathers out? Surely the difficulty is to keep them in? It should be about ensuring children grow up with two parents rather than punishing errant fathers. And it takes 2 irresponsible adults to make a one-night stand; no one talks about trying to exclude irresponsible mothers. My understanding on the new proposal was that it was intended to oblige more fathers to pay child support. The Gov doesn’t care if fathers walk away as long as they pay up. But I’m drifting off-topic.
Will research the government proposals and do a separate post on that. Don’t know that there is anything wrong with expecting fathers to pay generally and if it has the added benefit of keeping them involved …I agree it takes two but the irresponsible mother in the one night stand scenario is left holding the baby and if she does not act up to the responsibility she will lose the child and will lose PR if the child is adopted. Ok so will the father. But if he does walk away voluntarily why should he have PR? But I repeat I think it is too difficult to distinguish and it should suffice that PR can be taken away from either parent if they do something outrageous.
@Nick
How ludicrous is the comment 'We do not seek to exclude irresponsible mothers do we?' Irresponsible parents have their children taken away. A woman is much more harshly judged than a father by all the professionals involved in the judicial system. My ex took so much cocaine that he induced a brain haemorrhage and is now paralysed and mentally incapacitated.His parents moved him 200 miles away. I work to support my chilren as I have always done. I encourage my younger child to email, phone, and fund visits to ex where I face verbal abuse from his parents who blame me for his state though I pleaded with him to look after himself. The latest is an assumption from cafcass that I am alieniating my child from her father because we could not establish skype contact on two occasions. I encourage her to phone, e-mail, and fund visits every 6 weeks but the grand parents are demanding monthly visits and are dragging me through the courts where the assumption appears to be guilty until proven innocent and then guilty anyway no matter how hard you try.
The grandparents are applying for parental responsibility for a man who does not always remember he has a daughter.THey get legal aid, I don't, my ex pays nothing and csa cant get him to,I fund visits, am representing myself as I cant afford legal representation. Grandparents could not even send my daughter a christmas card but send bullying solicitors nearly every week. I dispair!
I need some advice my ex and I were together for 6+ years we had a child together and split 1-2years after her birth. She is residented at my house and I never stop him having contact. We have a 2 week rota which results in me having her 8 nights and him 6 with the 2 weeks. He has refused to help wih nursery fees and yet uses it on his days and wants to be involved in the rewards of it for example parents evenings. I have a new partner an so does he (our daughters nursery teacher- but has since left her nursery when became public) he does pay maintenance as I had to go through CSA to get any form of help which I use towards nursery. I have never refused access and have always encouraged it. Now he is stating he is taking me to court for parental contact order, I have no idea what to do or how I can keep parental responsibility? I have sorted her getting on a school waiting list I have maintained et going to nursery after he walked out on us even though struggling to make the payments and him refusing to help I have kept her in. He has an unstable mother who tried not long aking her own life yet I never say a word even when I am concerned of her involvement sometimes, his brothers are all drug users and I have to accept that he will not let her around this. I am sure he will not as he is a good father but I still want main responsibility. Please do you have any advice?
I have read a few of these sites now and am surprised. I am currently going through this myself and obviously I am not the only concerned mother out there and from reading their comments for good reason! The courts and legal system even today and government for that matter are still male dominated and this virtual automatic PR rule seems crazy. If a father is a good father and can prove it then PR should not be a problem but if like so many they are absent, irresponsible, controlling, abusive etc., how many children are going to thank the courts later for that??? All this government propeganda about families and fathers is not true, children from single familes do just as well. Take a look at figures and information from countries who are more supportive of single mothers such as France, Switzerland, Denmark etc. If a father is a bad father having him around can only have a detremential effect upon the children, especially involving them in decision making processes around schools, medical etc., I think it is about time we started looking at the sharp rise in the numbers of women fleeing their homes and those in safe houses since the fathers for justice laws were introduced?????
i have a mentally ill father demanding sole care of his son whom he hasnt seen for 3 years, we seperated after he abused "us". This abuse point has been totally ignored and the mentally ill/violent tendency has too!! The Psychiatrists want me to allow my son to see his father in order for him to get better. i have been the guilty party from the start for taking my son away from an abuser. this is law?
I'm in agreement with the last post. I had a relationship with a man who wanted me to have an abortion, deserted me when I was several months pregnant, refused to be present at the birth or named on the birth certificate. He did continue a relationship with me (we weren't living together) but repeatedly refused to pay any child support. When our son was three he tried moving in but I asked him to move out after four weeks because of his anger issues. Four weeks later he was in a new relationship. Now he wants contact with our son, who has been terribly hurt by his disappearance. I am very concerned about him succeeding, as he has consistently neglected our son; he's never had anything to do with his day to day care, and only once bought him a birthday present under pressure from me. I don't think he even knows the date of his birthday. With all sympathy to those good fathers out there who are being cut out of the loop, I still want to know whether in cases like this the court would automatically grant parental responsibility.
No the court would not automatically grant PR.First stage would be for him to show commitment – PR would probably come later. Why do you think he is now asking for any kind of contact? Could you consider that – whilst it is not great – he regrets how he has behaved in walking away?
Does anyone know where to find the apparent study report on children lying to CAFCASS? A lot of kids lie on behalf of the resident parent out of fear of abuse.
I am not aware of this study / report – if you can give me a bit more of a clue I will be happy to look into it further
Hi I just read your comment and disagree with what you are saying.I am a 27 male who is going though a seperation, I have never hurt my kids or ex girlfriend, or taking drugs etc….. I did not put my name on the birth certificate or register becose my ex girlfriend who has 3 kids from a previous, was scared that I would take the kids from her as did her previous ex partner, now that we are seperated she still wont let me be on the register, and she makes all the decisions ie when I see my kids etc, my point is, not all men are nice, I agree but not all women are nice too, they can be pretty spiteful.
never said all women perfect (though secretly might find difficult to swallow that I am not!). What exactly do you disagree with about what I am saying?